How Hard is Raising Kids?
Children come into this world as adorable bundles of joy. Some will struggle with life-long health issues, but most won’t. Some children are easy-going, and others are strong-willed. Neither is better than the other – there are strengths in both. One thing is certain, our precious mini-me will be the source of our greatest joys and our biggest fears.
The Myth of the Perfect Parent
It’s easy to be judgmental of other parents and their kids before you become a parent. The frustrations and concerns you will face as you guide your little ones to adulthood can make you feel like an awful parent, especially when you compare your worst parenting days to others’ best. You don’t have to be perfect – research has proven that if you make healthy parenting choices 80% of the time, you are doing just fine.
Parents Always Come With Baggage
Across all the ages and stages of development, children need caregivers to be available to respond to their needs in warm and consistent ways. But sometimes our own baggage makes this challenging.
- If no one comforted you when you were upset, you may not know how to offer comfort, especially emotional comfort.
- If you felt you were an inconvenience to your parents, you may struggle with patience.
- If you never learned what to do with your overwhelming emotions, your child’s emotional outbursts will challenge you.
- If you grew up an only child, you may find sibling conflict difficult to navigate.
- If your parents’ love and approval were based on your performance, you may be tempted to teach your children to be overachievers.
- If your parent hit you when they were angry, you may fear losing control when your child pushes your buttons.
- If you experienced any trauma growing up, you may relive it as your children approach the age your trauma occurred.
- If your parents weren’t there for you when you needed them, will you recognize when your children need you?
Parenting isn’t about perfection, it’s about showing up and learning how to be there for your child in the ways they need you.