No One Wants to Inherit Generational Trauma

It’s a difficult thing to leave the hurts of our family behind us, and sometimes it can echo through the generations in a pattern we refer to as generational trauma. Generational abuse/neglect and marital discord are two of the most common generational patterns. In our childhood, we learn how to treat others. If you saw the adults in your life yell, hit, and intimidate in conflict, you are likely to repeat it even when you earnestly try not to. If your parents never knew how to be a safe, stable source of comfort and support for you, chances are you will struggle to be able to offer your precious children those things.

Imagine if your parents had learned healthier ways of being in relationships – how much different would your life be? We are all doing our best to not repeat our past, yet sometimes our best is not enough… sometimes you need help. You can be the one to break the generational cycle and learn a new healthier and happier way of living.

At P.S. Counseling Frisco, our goal is to initiate generational changes. The work you do will benefit not only you and your current loved ones but your grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and on and on.

It’s never too late to make a difference.

You Are Not Responsible For What Happened to You in Your Childhood

As a child, did you learn to walk on eggshells, to continually scan the environment for unseen landmines that would set off the person you both loved and feared?

  • If you struggle with anger, how many previous generations also had difficulty managing their intense feelings?
  • If you find yourself being overly critical, who taught you that?
  • If you and your partner’s disagreements involve hitting, yelling, and name-calling, where did you learn that?
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You Didn’t Choose to be Born into a Family With Generational Dysfunction

Growing up, Jack had a hard life. The blue recycling bin full of crushed cans was proof his parents were no strangers to alcohol. It wasn’t just the alcohol, it was the unpredictable rage both of his parents had, and being the eldest, Jack usually bore the brunt of it. As he got older, he made himself a promise that he would move out as soon as he could and put his past firmly behind him.

We Take Our Trauma With Us

Jack landed the job of his dreams, achieving success that had been unimaginable from his meager upbringing, and he found a kindhearted woman to share his life with. The family portrait in the hallway showed the beaming faces of Jack, his wife, and his two adorable young children. What the portrait didn’t show, however, was the conflict at home. As much as he wanted his past to be behind him, it seemed to be showing up in his life more and more.

We Repeat What We Don’t Repair

Jack would be having a great day when all of a sudden his temper erupted like a volcano, and his wife’s eyes would be rimmed with tears by the end of the argument. He would always apologize, but he never seemed to be able to hold it together longer than a week or two, before it happened again. He could tell that his wife and kids were tiptoeing around him, but he didn’t know what to do. Looking in the mirror, his worst fears had come true – he was becoming his parents.

What Do You Want to Be Remembered For?